I Drank with the
Best of Them
By: Barbara
T., Atlanta, GA
I did. I
drank with the best of them. I drank them under the table, and I
was damn proud of it. Big or small, fat or skinny, I never met a
man or woman who could outdrink me. Many tried, and many failed.
The
problem? I also outdrank myself. I almost drank myself to death.
Trouble showed up in the form of a tender area in my abdomen. It
was my liver. My doctor told me to quit drinking. I laughed in his
face. Before long, it got worse; it became noticeably enlarged.
This time, my doctor told me that if I didn't quit drinking it
would kill me. I didn't laugh in his face, but I did continue to
drink.
Then
I landed in the hospital. My doctor told me that if I ever took
another sip of alcohol I would die. I didn't completely believe
him, but I did hear him. I didn't feel afraid. I felt angry.
Before
I left the hospital, my kids pulled a fast one on me. They hired a
counselor, who trained them on how to do an intervention, and they
all walked into my hospital room together. I knew I was in trouble
the minute I saw them parading in, one after another. And I was
right. They would not leave or stop talking until I had promised
on the grave of my poor dear mother that I would go straight from
the hospital into a treatment center. They even had my bag packed!
I
remained in treatment for five weeks. The first week, I sulked.
The second, I raged. The third, I secretly started listening. The
fourth, I openly listened. The fifth, I worked. When I left the
center, I felt afraid but hopeful.
When
I got home, I went to AA. I introduced myself and told the group
that I didn't believe I could stay sober. I told them that I could
drink harder, stronger, and longer than anyone I had ever met, but
I didn't believe that I could just not drink. I asked them to help
me. It was one of the hardest things I ever did. It was also one
of the best things I ever did.
Two
women from that group (I call them "The Sisters of the
Southside") took me under their wings and made me their
"project." They took me to meetings, called me on the
phone, dropped in on me unannounced, told me what to do, and just
flat loved me into sobriety. That's really what they did; they
loved me into sobriety. And I gotta tell you, I wasn't all that
lovable, at least for a good while.
I'm
four years sober now, and even if I have to say so myself, I'm
pretty lovable today. I'm a far cry from absolutely wonderful, but
I'm headed in that direction.
I go
to lots of meetings. I work my program--the Steps. I pray every
day for God to take away my shortcomings. I sponsor several other
hard-headed women like myself. I work with them just like
"The Sisters" worked with me. I spend time with them; I
guide them through the steps and love them into sobriety.
I
work with others in AA because I want them to find the peace of
mind that I have found. I want them to feel loved and accepted the
way I do. I want others, especially the scared, angry, defensive
women who come through the doors of AA, to feel good about
themselves the way I do today. I know in my heart that if I can
quit drinking and lead a healthy, happy, productive life, then
anyone can. I drank with the best of them. Now I'm sober with the
best of them. Will miracles never cease? Probably not. I hope not.
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