=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
          NOTES
          EDITOR'S COMMENTS
          TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE
          SPONSOR'S SPOT
          WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?
          GUEST SPOT
          SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE/COMMENT
 
 
=====NOTES=====
 
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks is published every Friday morning by the folks at Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources Website:
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Principles is distributed only to subscribers. If you have received this newsletter by mistake, please accept our apologies and find UNSUBSCRIBE instructions at the bottom of this page.
 
Subscribers: Please forward this newsletter to friends (or enemies), who may then subscribe to it if they choose to do so themselves.
 
Please know that I will NEVER publish, give, loan, or sell your e-mail address to anyone. Never - no way - no how.
 
 
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
 
Thanks for taking the time to peruse this week's issue
of Principles.
 
This week's TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE is a reprint from Vol.1, No.1. Contributed by Charlotte L., from Dallas, TX, this article was highly praised by the tiny number of subscribers who saw it and much requested by some who missed out. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope it holds some value for you.
 
If you have comments about and/or suggestions for Principles, or if you would like to submit a TIP & TALK article or story, please contact me through the newsletter address listed at the bottom of this page.
 
Charles N. Roper, Editor
 
 
=====FEATURED ARTICLE=====
 
RECOVERY TIP: "Listen closely and with an open mind for the answers to your prayers. They may not sound just the way you expect them to."
 
RECOVERY TIP TALK: My oldest daughter got pregnant at 16. She asked me what I thought she should do. I didn't know what to tell her so I said that I would think about it and get back to her as soon as I felt as though I had the right answer.
 
For the next few days, I prayed hard. "Please God," I said, "just
tell me what to say. I promise; whatever your will is - that's what I'll tell her."
 
The answer came on the morning of the fourth day. It was so loud and clear that it almost scared me. The answer was, "Take the best spiritual care of yourself that you possibly can."
 
"What?" I asked.
 
And I heard it again. "Take the best spiritual care of yourself that you possibly can."
 
At first I dismissed the thought, writing it off as a figment of my
imagination. Then I thought that maybe it was, indeed, God's response but that God was screwing with my head. Finally, I got quiet and let the idea sink in, and before long, I understood. If I were truly in a good spiritual place with myself, I would be emotionally and spiritually available to my daughter. The outcome of the pregnancy wasn't the issue. It was about acceptance, support, and love.
 
I went to her and said, "Honey, tell me how you want to handle this issue. Whatever your decision, I will be here to support you. I love you, and I believe that you are capable of making the right decision based on what's in your heart of hearts."
 
She burst into tears and said that she wanted to terminate the
pregnancy and that she had not told me that before because she knew I didn't believe in abortion. I held her in my arms and assured her that I felt at peace with her decision. And it was the truth. Despite my own beliefs, I felt respectful of her needs.
 
Two days later I drove my daughter to the clinic, waited while the procedure was done, and then drove her home.
 
We talked to each other a lot over the next few weeks. We helped each other grieve. And we bonded in a most profound way. It is a bond that remains intact today - over 15 years later.
 
I learned something from that experience that I remind myself of often. When searching for a solution to any problem, remember the following formula:
 
The solution is simple.
The solution is spiritual.
The solution has nothing to do with the problem.
 
 
=====SPONSOR'S SPOT=====
 
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction &
Recovery, by Charles N. Roper, PhD
 
Within the context of an immensely powerful story populated with fascinating characters, High Bottom Drunk offers the key to understanding the true nature of addiction and recovery.
 
"...if you want to get lost in someone else's story and understand what transformation is all about, (High Bottom Drunk) is a good read." --Shelly Marshall, author of Day-by-Day, Young, Sober, & Free, and other books on addiction, codependency, and recovery.
 
Review High Bottom Drunk: A Novel... at the Website:
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
 
 
=====WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?=====
 
Q: What would Buddha do about lying?
 
A: "In certain cases a bodhisattva may kill, steal, commit adultery, or take drugs, but he may not lie. Intentional lying contradicts reality."
 
It is hard to imagine Buddha killing, stealing, having sex, or doing drugs. Still, given highly unusual circumstances, there are stories of Buddha doing these things, at least during his many lives as a bodhisattva - before he became fully Buddha. Of course, he always did these things with the intention of saving others from ignorance and death.
 
In contrast, it is impossible for Buddha to lie. Buddha cannot lie,
even if lying would seem to help others. Why? Because he is too in touch with reality (i.e., the present moment). Lies contradict reality, and they blind people to the truth. Even when they help in the short run, they harm in the long run. A bodhisattva cannot do this, and neither sould we. Stay the course; remember that although truth may be hard at first, it is easier in the long run. As Mark Twain said, "It is easier to tell the truth; you don't have to remember anything."
 
From: What Would Buddha Do? 101 Answers to Life's Daily Dilemmas, by Franz Metcalf.
 
 
=====GUEST SPOT (ANYTHING GOES)=====
 
Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the guy in the middle. "Your mom's the best sex in town!" he shouts.
 
Everyone at the bar expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end.
 
Ten minutes later, the drunk staggers back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-e-e-e-et!"
 
Again the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar.
 
Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "And another thing--your mom liked it big time!"
 
Finally the guy turns around in his seat, looks the drunk dead in the eye, and says, "Go home, Dad; you're drunk!"
 
Contributed by: Who knows? & Who cares?
 
 
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
 
This week's featured link is: Suite101.com.
 
Suite101.com is a highly eclectic site that refers to itself as
"Real People Helping Real People."
 
The site offers information and resources on 1014 different topics. Thirty of those topics fall under the sub-category Mental Health, including one entitled Substance Abuse Recovery and another called Inner Child/Codependency Recovery. Robert Burney, who has written and published several books on codependency recovery, edits the latter topic.
 
Visit the Suite101 Website:
http://www.suite101.com
  
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=========================================
 
Till next week...do us all a favor & keep it simple.
 
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
  
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com