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PRINCIPLES: ADDICTION & RECOVERY TIPS & TALKS
Vol.1, No.31
December 8, 2000
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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY
=====FEATURED LINK OF THE WEEK
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
DISTRIBUTION: God willing, Principles hits cyberspace every Friday
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Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES=====
We had a lot of response to Mike D.'s thoughts regarding "why people
drink?" Here's a sampling:
"I'm alcoholic, ACOA, codependent, a verbal & emotional abuse
survivor, and an incest survivor. I know the feelings of not belonging and not
fitting anywhere, of being totally stupid, useless, and perpetually wrong, of
feeling contaminated. Why would I ever want to feel all that pain while not
have any coping skills? Even after 16 years of recovery, and at least 10 years
of therapy, and countless other spiritual path healings, I still sometimes
want 'out of here'....[Now, though] I use prayer and meditation and
therapeutic art. I keep a daily journal. No matter how large or small the
group is at any given time, I have a support system and friends...."
--L.
"....I have to totally agree with what Mike D. wrote. I drank and used
drugs to not feel....Booze, food, drugs, sex were all things I used to go numb
with over the years. I still don't want to feel today and often wish for
something to just turn it off for a while. Problem was towards the end of
my using and drinking nothing worked anymore. There wasn't enough to turn it
off. I'd have probably stayed out there and suffered a lot more consequences
if the booze and the drugs had kept working. But when, in spite of my efforts,
the feelings were still there and I also had all the trouble caused from my
addiction, I realized I had two choices--figure out a different way to deal
with the feelings or quit feeling altogether by killing myself. I'm glad today
I picked the former...."
--V.B.
"....I, too, am a chemical dependency counselor, but I only have 9 years
in the field. I am a recovering alcoholic, co-dependent, addict, Catholic and
you name it. I'm not sure if I understand Mike D.'s premise, but surely he
must have heard, either in the rooms of AA or even from professional
colleagues, that alcoholics drink because they have alcoholism. It's a
disease...."
--T.B.
"....I am an Alanon. I would like to take exception to the remark that
alcoholics wish to experience the feeling of numbness more than
non-alcoholics. For most of my life I have striven to feel the numbness that I
can achieve without alcohol. I firmly believe that I did many things to
excess, such as work and relationships (dating multiple women at the same
time) and many other types activities so that I did not have to feel anything
about anything or anyone. Thank God for recovery and the ability today to feel
and be a part of the human race without trying to numb out my feelings with
'things to do'."
--S.
"Insanity...I think that is why we drank...."
--D.
[Editor's Reply: Interesting thoughts. Thanks to everyone who wrote.]
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY TIP:
"Once we decide to live a happier, more fulfilling life, we can bring
that decision to fruition through simple action."
RECOVERY TIP TALK:
During the active stages of our addictions, many of us came to feel not
only unhappy and unfulfilled, but also hopeless. When we stumbled into
recovery, many of us found "the promises," and we regained hope.
Unfortunately, hope doesn't automatically translate into happiness and
fulfillment.
In his book, It's a Meaningful Life: It Just Takes Practice, Bo
Lozoff suggests that for hundreds of years, philosophers and religious
teachers have given us blueprints for living fulfilling lives and that these
blueprints share two basic principles.
The first principle is personal communion--the building of an "inner
foundation." We build a strong inner foundation by looking inward--by
examining our true desires and feelings, and inching toward a profound unity
with the source of creation, however we may understand that source.
The second is community--the building of an "outer foundation."
We build an outer foundation by cultivating kindness, goodwill, and
generosity, and by recognizing the interconnectedness of all creation.
Though the task sounds daunting to say the least, we can actually build
inner and outer foundations through purposeful practice--that is, simple,
repetitive activities that we do regularly and deliberately, with the aim of
growing in awareness.
The possibilities are endless, but here are a few good ones:
1. Quieting the mind. Turning off the chatterbox mind takes a lot of
practice; meditation, prayer, relaxation, and yoga can help.
2. Being mindful. Mentally focusing on the present moment turns any
activity--from jogging to preparing dinner to washing the car--into spiritual
practice.
3. Practicing daily kindness. Performing acts of kindness, especially
small, seemingly insignificant ones, opens our hearts.
4. Performing service. Spending regular time in service to others helps us
to connect with them as real human beings.
5. Simplifying. Spending less time, money and energy on things, and more on
people, helps us discriminate between the important and unimportant aspects of
our lives.
6. Taking responsibility. Accepting responsibility for our own thoughts,
feelings, and behavior turns our tendency to blame and judge others into
acceptance, tolerance, and humility--the real building blocks of recovery.
One final thought: A fulfilling life balances these inner and outer
principles. If we only look inward, we become self-centered. If we focus only
on the welfare of others, we become codependent and then bitter.
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL=====
"In June I began working with women who are recovering from alcohol
and drug abuse in the only program of its kind in the State of Wisconsin.
These women are coming out of prison/jail and transitioning into the
community. This book was exciting because it was not a textbook. Nevertheless,
I highlighted many of the passages in the book to help me understand my
clients better. I think the book was a great help to me and would be to
others."
--K.B. 12/2/00
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction &
Recovery, by Charles N. Roper, PhD.
Order High Bottom Drunk directly from the publisher, through the www.highbottomdrunk.com
website, and receive two free gifts with each copy.
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
Just as in the Twelve Step traditions, Buddha didn't concern himself too
much with the definition of God, Higher Power, or fate after death. He
regarded these questions as irrelevant to the work at hand and as diversions
from living our lives to their fullest in this moment.
Buddha said that such questions condition the mind for pain--the kind of
pain that results from thinking in terms of "polarities" such as
life and death, heaven and hell, and good and evil. He thought it impossible
to attain union when our minds are constantly engaged in the act of division.
He chose instead the Middle Path of mindfulness, acceptance, and tolerance.
Paraphrased from: The Zen of Recovery, by Mel Ash.
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: CASA Columbia--The National Center on
Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.
The CASA Columbia program bills itself as a unique think/action tank that
engages all disciplines to study every form of substance abuse as it affects
our society. The program and the site focus on academic research, which makes
it a great resource for students, teachers, counselors, and others who want
reliable facts and figures. It may give others a bad case of the yawns.
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
A man walks into a bar and orders a martini, then another, and another, and
another, and another...and each time he gets a fresh one, he carefully removes
the olive and places it in a jar. When the jar is filled with olives and all
the drinks are consumed, the drunk slides off of his stool and starts to
leave.
"S'cuse me, buddy," says a customer who's been watching this
ordeal for a couple of hours. "What the heck was that olive business all
about?"
"Nothing, really," says the man, who is now very drunk. "My
wife just sent me out for a jar of olives, and I always try to do what the old
bag tells me."
=====SUBSCRIBE/UNSUBSCRIBE/COMMENT=====
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Alrighty, then...till next week, do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks