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PRINCIPLES: ADDICTION & RECOVERY TIPS & TALKS
Vol.1, No.30 December 1, 2000
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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY
=====FEATURED LINK OF THE WEEK
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
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Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES=====
From: Reader Mike D (Edited by C Roper):
Why do people drink? As a substance abuse counselor for 20 years, I have explored this
question with my clients and have come up with a possible answer, and surprisingly, it has
little to do with specific feelings per se.
Many counselors claim that people drink excessively due to their feelings of emptiness,
sadness, or other negative emotions. But my thousands of former clients claim that their
drinking for positive reasons far outnumber the negative ones. Therefore, we question the
belief that we alcoholics are some kind of "lost souls."
I used to believe clients when they said, "We drink simply because of the way it
makes us feel." But then one day a client in a group session said, "No, I think
we drink because of the way it makes us 'not feel'." And the more we discussed that
idea, the more we agreed with it.
Excessive use of alcohol produces varying degrees of numbness, or "not feeling,"
in our five senses. Therefore, we cannot say that getting drunk actually "feels"
good or bad or anything else since our ability to gather empirical data is less than
before the intake. And if, in fact, we drink because it makes us feel less--because of the
degrees of numbness it gives us--then the question becomes why are we so attracted to the
numbness?
Most of my present and former clients note that the attraction was there from the start,
and that the attraction continues even after many years of recovery. This is true for me
after 23 years of sobriety. In days gone by, or maybe in the future (God forbid), I could
relapse and attribute it to fame & fortune, boredom, gloom & doom, or despair. But
in fact, it would more likely be due to my attraction to "degrees of numbness",
an attraction far greater in me than that experienced by non-alcoholics.
Does this idea ring true to anyone else out there?
--Mike D
[Editor's Reply: Interesting thoughts. Would anyone like to weigh in on this?]
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY TIP:
Although there really is such a thing as clinical depression that typically responds to
medication & therapy, there is also an optional form of depression that is available
to those of us who are attracted to feeling bad about ourselves.
RECOVERY TIP TALK:
Many people who find recovery from addictions and codependency end up having to deal with
depression as part of their recovery process. Indeed, many recovering people discover that
they had been depressed all of their lives and had been medicating that depression with
alcohol, drugs, food, and people.
The optional form of depression carries with it a set of instructions, or rules. If
followed diligently, these rules will, almost without fail, trigger optional depression.
This is true even for those who have no predisposition whatsoever to the clinical form.
Twenty Simple Rules for Depression
1. Try to be perfect in everything you do.
2. Never make mistakes, especially stupid ones.
3. When you do make a mistake, criticize yourself for it.
4. Keep your mistakes, failures, faults, and secrets to yourself.
5. Always do what you should.
6. Control yourself and others as much as possible.
7. Do whatever it takes to make other people happy.
8. Work hard to please your critics.
9. Keep the peace at all costs.
10. Live alone and/or have few close friends.
11. Fear the future.
12. Regret the past.
13. Worry about how bad things might get.
14. Never listen to or accept praise or compliments.
15. Be a critic.
16. Find fault.
17. Question your own and other people's motives.
18. Compare yourself to other people.
19. Eat as much junk food as you can.
20. Obey all rules, regardless of how stupid they appear to be.
If you find yourself reluctant to follow these rules for depression, re-read #20, and
remind yourself that if you don't follow the rules, they won't work.
A final note: These rules for depression fly directly in the face of what we learn in AA,
NA, CA, Al-Anon, ACOA, OA, etc. regarding how to take care of ourselves in recovery.
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL=====
A wonderful holiday gift for anyone who is connected with (or perhaps should be connected
with) recovery:
"High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction
& Recovery," by Charles N. Roper, PhD.
Order "High Bottom Drunk" directly from the publisher, through the
www.highbottomdrunk.com website, and receive two free gifts with each copy.
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
Siddhartha Gautama became a Buddha--an Awakened One--after he had identified the sources
of suffering within himself. And he accomplished that only after reaching utter despair
and experiencing what Bill W., the co-founder of AA--later called a prerequisite for
recovery: "...complete ego deflation at depth."
Having seen into the nature of his own suffering, Buddha came up with a program of
physical, emotional, and spiritual action designed to facilitate the recovery of our
original nature and to forestall the onset of damaging slips in personal visions of
control. Not unlike AA's Twelve Steps, Buddha's Eightfold Path outlines the ways in which
one might attain wholeness and recover one's original, brilliant sanity.
Realizing that others suffered as well and were caught in the net of illusion, Buddha
carried the message tirelessly to the end of his life, spreading the dharma and easing the
pain of others. If Buddha had been a drunk or an addict, he would have been "Twelve
Stepping"--carrying the message of recovery to others still in the grip of their
disease--on a very grand scale.
Paraphrased from: "The Zen of Recovery," by Mel Ash.
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: The Alcoholism and AA Recovery
Page: All you need to know about alcoholism & recovery.
Talk about packed with information!
Visit the site at:
http://www.public.usit.net/rfhale/index.htm
Be sure to take a look at this page:
http://www.public.usit.net/rfhale/insanity.htm
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
A man boarded a plane, found his seat, and immediately realized that sitting next to him
was an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen.
He asked her about it.
"This is the Klopman diamond," she said. "And yes, there's no
questioning it's tremendous value and beautiful. There's a downside, though. With it comes
a horrible, horrible curse."
"What's the curse?" the man asked.
"The curse is one of God's most notorious alcoholics--Mr. Klopman,"
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==========================
Alrighty, then...till next week, do us all a favor and keep
it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information
& Resources Web site:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com