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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY
=====FEATURED LINK OF THE WEEK
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
DISTRIBUTION: Distributed every Friday morning. Find Subscribe & Unsubscribe
instructions at the bottom of this page.
PRIVACY: I will never publish, give, loan, or sell your e-mail address to anyone.
Never - No way - No how.
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' COMMENTS & CONTROVERSIES=====
"I do not feel that this philosophy (Eastern though it may be) goes against or denies
my Christianity at all, and I therefore find it helpful. In response to knowing God, I
agree that I know God, and at times I have known Him intimately. But all I KNOW is MY
understanding and experience of God. That is all. I don't know Charles' understanding--or
anyone else's for that matter--because I am not Charles. Christianity tells us that we can
know God personally through relationship to Jesus. But no where does it deny the Jewish
claim that the name of YHWH--the great 'I am'--can only be uttered. The name of God cannot
be spoken. In other words, you can only 'know' your personal experience of God. And of
course, the big philosophical question of the ages is this: Can we claim to 'know' our
experience or does experience merely represent a piece, an uttering, of the whole? What
exactly is it that we 'know'?" ---LB
[Editor's reply to LB: Hmm...]
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY TIP:
"Listen, or thy tongue will keep thee deaf." --Native American
Saying
RECOVERY TIP TALK:
Steve had no idea that his younger brother had an alcohol and drug problem so he was quite
surprised when Van called asking for his help.
"I haven't called before because I felt ashamed," Van said. "I thought you
might judge me and lose respect for me. But now it's to the point that if I don't do
something--if I don't deal with this right now, I'm not going to be able to dig myself
out. I'll do whatever I have to, man. I'll go to treatment or AA or whatever the hell it
takes. I know you've been there, and to tell you the truth, I didn't have anywhere else to
turn. I'm beat, and I'm scared. So please, Steve, tell me what to do, and I'll do
it."
Steve helped Van check into a treatment center, where Van willingly agreed to spend at
least a day or two in the medical detox unit and then follow the recommendations of the
treatment team regarding his continuation in treatment. When Steve left the center, Van
bid him a grateful and tearful farewell.
Van called Steve the next day and thanked him again. "Man, I already feel
better," he said. "I ate breakfast this morning, and sat in on a group this
afternoon. I've got a lot to learn, Bro, but I know I'm going to get it, and I know I'm
going to be okay."
He called again two days later and reported feeling better than he had felt in years,
despite the fact that the food sucked and that the place was filled with losers who had
not a clue.
On day four, Van called Steve and complained about the staff's attitude toward him.
"I don't know why, man, but they're picking on me like a son of a bitch. I mean,
every time I open my mouth, they discount what I say. They accuse me of being in denial,
and they say I turn everything into intellectual bullshit. Can you believe that? They act
as though I don't know what the hell I'm talking about, even when I'm talking about me. It
might not bother me so much if I wasn't stuck in here with such pathetic losers."
Steve placated him and encouraged him to learn as much as he could.
On day five, Van called and told Steve angrily that the treatment team had recommended a
minimum of two to three weeks residential treatment. When Steve admitted that he agreed
with the team's recommendation, Van cursed him and hung up on him. The next day, he called
and asked Steve to please come and pick him up.
"I know you wanted me to stay here," he said, "but believe me, this isn't
where I need to be right now. I've already learned everything they have to teach me. I've
got it now. I know I can't drink and use, and I've made a pact with myself never to use
again. And you know me, Steve; when I make up my mind to do something, I do it--come hell
or high water."
When Steve tried to interject his thoughts, Van interrupted him and said, "Believe
me, man, there's nothing to worry about. I've got it. Believe me; I know what's best for
me."
Against his better judgement, Steve complied with his brother's pleadings. On the way back
to Van's house, Steve repeatedly tried to offer Van the benefit of his experience,
strength and hope. Van wasn't interested.
"I heard all of that stuff at the treatment center," he said. "In fact, I
heard it over and over and over. I'm telling you, Bro, I get it. I understand. There's
nothing left to talk about. I'm through with alcohol and drugs. I have absolutely no
desire to drink or use. Now, please, just get me home so I can get on with my life."
To his credit, Van stayed clean and dry for almost four months. Also to his credit, he
called Steve and told him up front that he had started drinking again. When Steve started
to question his decision, Van cut him off and informed him that he already knew what Steve
was going to say and that it wasn't necessary.
"Like I told you before, man," he said, "there's absolutely nothing to
worry about. I get it now. I remember everything they told me at the center. If I start
having problems, I know what to do and where to go. It's a no-brainer. I've got it licked.
Believe me; I do."
Van is still out. He's drinking quite a bit but hasn't returned to using other drugs. Even
though he learned little from his "treatment" experience, he did get to see what
it felt like to hit a temporary bottom. Perhaps more importantly, he got a brief shot of
humility, during which he actually listened to someone other than himself.
Steve, on the other hand, is still sober. He learned a lot from Van's experience. He was
reminded of what run-away ego looks like, and he didn't like it. As a result, he made a
personal commitment to talk a lot less and listen a lot more.
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL=====
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction & Recovery, by
Charles N. Roper, PhD.
"I just finished reading High Bottom Drunk. I must say I was shocked, but not
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alcoholism. My husband is 2 months sober and there are still a lot of issues we deal with,
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Order High Bottom Drunk directly from the publisher, through the www.highbottomdrunk.com website, and receive two
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=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
Zen is simply nothing more than paying attention to your life as it unfolds in this moment
and in this world. The mindful, nonjudgmental perception of this process is the action of
your true, original self, which exists before thinking, opinions and beliefs arise and
seek to name and divide experience. By becoming mindful of our original nature, we lessen
the grip of the denial that fills our lives--the denial that separates us from true
experience. As we become more spontaneous and intuitive in our relationships with
ourselves, others and the world, the world and our deepest selves act as one, and we come
to realize that there's never been a problem except in our thinking.
Paraphrased from: "The Zen of Recovery," by Mel Ash.
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: A Graphical Fourth Step Guide.
This site offers a guide and format which encourages the writing of A.A.'s Fourth Step in
the precise manner authentically suggested by The Big Book--A.A.'s basic text. The guide
is clear and comprehensive.
The site's webmaster offers the following note: I received this guide from my good friend
Bob O. at the Beachwood Friday Night Meeting of Toms River (NJ) in October of 1985. He
already had it for several years. To the best of my knowledge this guide dates back to at
least 1975.
Visit the site at: (Sorry, site disappeared from the Web.)
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
Another oldie but goodie:
Two Englishmen are sitting at a bar and become quite tipsy. One turns to the other and
says, "Oy, where are you from?"
The second man answers, "I'm from Liverpool."
The first man, surprised, replies, "No way! I'm from Liverpool, too! What high school
did you go to?"
The second man answers, "St. Mary's."
"Wow!" yells the first man. "ME, TOO!"
"No way," says the second man. "What year did you graduate in?"
"Seventy-nine," says the first man.
"Oh, my WORD!" screams the second man, "I graduated in '79, too!"
"Oh, boy, it's gonna be a long night," sighs the bartender, turning to one of
his other customers. "The Johnson twins are drunk again."
Submitted by: Our old buddy, Danny, from San Antonio, Texas
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==========================
Alrighty, then...till next week, do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources Web
site:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
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