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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' TWO CENTS' WORTH
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY
=====FEATURED LINK OF THE WEEK
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
PUBLICATION: Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks is published
every Friday morning by Charles Roper, the owner & author of Alcohol & Drug Abuse
- The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources Web site: http://alcoholanddrugabuse.com
DISTRIBUTION: Principles is distributed only to subscribers. If you have received
this newsletter by mistake, please accept our apologies, and find UNSUBSCRIBE instructions
at the bottom of this page.
PRIVACY: I will NEVER publish, give, loan, or sell your e-mail address to anyone. Never -
No way - No how.
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' TWO CENTS' WORTH=====
=====POSITIVE
Thank you for the wonderful lesson on humility [Issue #23: http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com/newsletters/news23.html.
When I think of that word, lots of people come to mind: St. Francis, Mother Theresa,
Paul--in jail and writing to believers. It would be nice if this lesson could be learned
only once, but for me it is on-going and probably life-long.
---In love and service...Arlene
To DB: I hope you go back & read your comment in the 10/13 newsletter [Issue #23:
See above]--this time with your mind on YOUR recovery. You say "plain old AA"
has been working for you for a long time. God bless you; that's wonderful. However, your
words don't reflect that. You seem to be taking Charles' "inventory" on the
Eastern view. Don't like it? Don't read that part--VERY SIMPLE. Remember, "Take what
you need and leave the rest." Some of us actually appreciate reading different
perspectives. We don't have to apply them, but knowledge is power. Don't get your shorts
in a bundle worrying about the little things in life that bother you--we're powerless over
our addictions--but we have choices. Choose for yourself to "Keep It Simple,
Silly!" and have a peaceful day.
---Yours in fellowship, Robyn.
---Yours in fellowship, Robyn.
=====NOT SO POSITIVE
Dear Readers: I need content for this section. Come on, I know you can do it.
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...=====
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it's open.
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY TIP: Open-mindedness means I don't know.
RECOVERY TIP TALK: The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous suggests three essential and
indispensable keys to spiritual recovery: Willingness, honesty, and open-mindedness. It's
possible that the three terms are actually synonyms.
During a workshop a couple of years ago, I was challenged to come to terms with the exact
nature of my understanding of the world and my place in it. Workshop participants paired
off, and each member of each team had a chance to be a not knower. Here's how it
worked:
One team member asked the other one a series of questions. The questions could be about
anything at all. The second team member had to answer every question with the words, I
don't know.
Now saying I don't know is easy until you take the exercise seriously and
actually mean the words when you say them. That's where the open-mindedness comes into
play. That's also where the spiritual lesson takes hold.
Try it yourself. Here's a few questions. Read one, then close your eyes, go inside your
mind, and answer, "I don't know." And find a way to really mean it.
1. Are you happy?
2. Is the color blue pretty?
3. Is one million a large number?
4. Is there really a God?
Not so easy, is it? The challenge gets even tougher when the questions turn to something
like, "Do 1+1=2?"
I found the experience to be a real humility builder. Probably because I became able to
successfully mean every I don't know. And that's the bottom line. I simply don't
know.
I think things; I believe things; I'm pretty sure about a thing or two. But damn it, I
just don't know anything for absolute certain. When I think a brick is solid, quantum
physics proves me wrong (I think). When I'm absolutely convinced that someone said or did
something mean or wrong, someone else says or does something to burst my know-it-all
bubble.
An Al-Anon friend unknowingly addressed this issue once when we were talking about
disruptive arguments with our spouses. She said, "Listen, Charles, when it starts to
escalate, just say, "Hmm, you might be right about that." I tried it, and of
course it worked, but the payoff came after I realized that the statement was more than a
way to placate my volatile wife. It's simply a true statement.
Maybe it boils down to this: Open-minded people ask questions, listen to answers, weigh
alternatives, and then understand that in the final analysis, they just don't know.
Closed-minded people listen to questions, give answers, and believe that in the final
analysis, they do know.
Or maybe not. Hell, I don't know.
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL=====
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction & Recovery, by
Charles N. Roper, PhD.
On-going special from Small Change Publishing Co.:
Order High Bottom Drunk directly from the publisher, through the www.highbottomdrunk.com website, and receive two
free gifts with each copy. Order one copy and receive two gifts. Order three copies,
receive six gifts. The gifts are modest but useful. I think you'll like them.
Check it out:
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
Dear Charles,
I read the criticism about you giving an "Eastern Perspective" on recovery with
great dismay! Evidently the writer knows little or nothing about the history of AA or it's
founders.
While, unfortunately, I was not in the Program prior to Bill W's death (not that I didn't
need it, but I was only 20 at the time) so I didn't get a chance to meet him. But I did
get to meet Lois before she died and had a chance to talk with her for a short while.
I had always noticed in Bill's writing a leaning toward eastern philosophy and wondered if
I was REALLY seeing what I thought was there. Lois told me that Bill did, indeed, study
eastern philosophy. In fact, according to her, he studied just about everything spiritual
he could get ahold of .
I am always fascinated by the perspectives from other societies, cultures and spiritual
systems which reflect what we have learned through AA. But, more importantly, I believe it
is entirely important for us to grow beyond JUST the AA Program. Evidently your critic
never read that part in the Big Book where Bill called AA a "spiritual
kindergarten."
Personally, I don't want to stay in kindergarten! I want to move on! NOTHING in my life
has ever equipped me better to have a deeper and more meaningful understanding of other
spiritual systems than the "grounding" I got in AA. But, like all children, we
have to grow up. We have to begin to explore "beyond the
sandbox!" And, personally, I am grateful for all the study I have done in other
systems that has enhanced my understanding of AA.
So, for me, please keep that "Eastern Perspective" coming!!! I especially love
the stories of the eastern monks and Zen masters.
I will share with you my favorite:
Two monks, one very old - one very young, were travelling to a distant monastery. While on
the road, it rained very hard and the road - especially the crossroads - were very muddy.
The two monks came to one very muddy crossroad where there stood a woman in great
distress. It was obvious from the fineness of her dress and her beauty that she was the
concubine of a very wealthy aristocrat.
The older monk approached her and asked what was her distress.
She answered, "Holy monk, the road is full of mud and I must cross it to go to my
Lord who has sent for me. But if I get mud on the fine garments he has given me, he will
be angry and could dismiss me from his service!"
The old monk told her to not be distressed. He had her climb on his back and he carried
the young woman across the muddy road. She arrived on the other side with not one speck of
mud on her fine garments. She thanked the old monk profusely and went on her way.
The two monks also went on their way without discussion of the incident. Several hours
later, they came within sight of the monastery to which they travelled.
It was at that point the young monk, seeming to almost explode with pent up rage, turned
to the old monk and asked, "How could you let that creature touch you? You could see
what kind of woman she was! How could you carry her on your back?!"
The old monk looked at him and answered, "I only carried her across the road. You
have carried her all the way here."
---Yours in Sobriety...Bobby G. (Fr. Robert Gray)
[Editor's Note: Thank you so much, Bobby. Beautifully written and beautifully told.
---Charles]
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: OnlineRecovery.org
OnlineRecovery.org presents a comprehensive listing of Web sites connected to every
conceivable topic within the broad are of addiction & recovery.
It's a simple, clean site--well-maintained and seemingly without ulterior motives, which
is nice considering the amount of time & effort it takes to develop and maintain a
site like this.
Visit the site at:
http://www.onlinerecovery.org
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
An alcoholic walks out of a bar and immediately runs into a bum who's panhandling on the
corner.
The bum says, "Hey, Mister, do you have a buck or two you could spare me?"
The alcoholic thinks about the question for a moment and then says, "If I give you
money, are you going to use it to buy liquor?"
"No, I don't drink," says the bum.
The man nods and says, "If I give you money, are you going to use it for
gambling?"
Again the bum says, "No, I don't gamble."
The man nods and smiles and says, "Listen, pal, I'll tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll
give you $5.00 if you'll come home with me so I can show my wife what happens to someone
who doesn't drink and gamble."
Submitted by...hmm, I'm not sure where this came from.
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Alrighty, then...till next week, do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources Web
site:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
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