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PRINCIPLES: ADDICTION & RECOVERY TIPS & TALKS
Vol.1, No.23
October 13, 2000
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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' TWO CENTS' WORTH
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY
=====FEATURED LINK OF THE WEEK
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
PUBLICATION: Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips &
Talks is published every Friday morning by Charles
Roper, the owner & author of Alcohol & Drug Abuse -
The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources
Web site. Please pay the site a visit.
http://alcoholanddrugabuse.com
DISTRIBUTION: Principles is distributed only to
subscribers. If you have received this newsletter by
mistake, please accept our apologies, and find
UNSUBSCRIBE instructions at the bottom of this page.
PRIVACY: I will NEVER publish, give, loan, or sell your
e-mail address to anyone. Never - No way - No how.
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' TWO CENTS' WORTH=====
=====Positive Feedback (Ahh...):
I am very impressed with your newsletter. I am scheduled to go into rehab for
alcoholism this coming Monday. Nervous and scared. But as a young single mother of two, it
is about time I get healthy. Not only for myself but for my two children and my fiance -
all who have loved me in spite of my sickness. Keep it coming and keep up the good work.
---M.
Just wanted you to know that there are some readers who are unwavering in their
support for your newsletter. In fact I think it has improved in the last few weeks--for my
taste, interests, and needs. Thanks for a fun and steady tether to sobriety and recovery.
---d.
=====Not so positive feedback (Ouch...):
You tell us to 'keep it simple.' Well, maybe you should take your own advice. What's
with the 'Eastern Perspective on Recovery' stuff? What's wrong with plain old AA? It's
worked for me for a long time.
---db.
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...=====
It's when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered.
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY TIP: Humility has little or nothing to do with humiliation or shame.
RECOVERY TIP TALK: Try this exercise: Close your eyes for a moment and picture humility.
What does it look like? Is it large, or is it small? Is it
beautiful, or is it ugly?
How does it feel? Is it weak, or is it strong? Is it happy, or is it sad?
Many people visualize weak and small. Such was the case with Edna when she started
codependency counseling. "What comes to my mind," she said, "is a little
old lady, bent over at the waist, eyes cast toward the ground. She covers herself in dark
colored clothing. She has little respect for herself."
When the counselor wondered out loud if perhaps Edna was describing her internal
perception of herself, Edna began to weep.
"That IS me," she said quietly. "Not many people see me that way, but
that's who I AM. Behind this mask--this false front that pretends confidence, I'm a very
small, weak, and humble person."
Sorry, Edna. In the first place, there's a difference between who "I AM" and
"How I think and feel." I can feel more than or less than. I
can feel better than or worse than. And my feelings, especially my
feelings about myself, can change. I can feel like a lion today and a lamb tomorrow. But
that's not who "I AM."
Who "I AM" never changes. Call it what you will, it's my core. It's my Self
(with a capital "S"). Whereas my self (with a little "s") plays tricks
on me and convinces me that I'm more than or less than, my Self remains
constant, pure, wise, and real. It's the home of my humility.
Humility is truth. Humility has no ego. Humility is neither big nor small, happy nor sad,
weak nor strong. When I feel truly humble, I feel the same as. And as such, I
have no need or desire to make myself appear to be anything I'm not. I don't embellish or
diminish.
One of my teachers promises me that we can learn to live in that place. He says that it
just takes practice. He tells me that not only do we all have innate
wisdom--which I equate with humility--but also we can access that wisdom just by knowing
that it's there and that it's available to us for the asking.
Sounds like Step 3, doesn't it? I turn my will (my thinking) and my life (the outcomes of
my best efforts) over to the care of God as I understand God (Self-Innate
Wisdom-Humility-Truth).
=====SPONSOR'S SPIEL=====
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction & Recovery, by
Charles N. Roper, PhD.
Here's a nice little special offer from Small Change Publishing Co.: Order High Bottom
Drunk directly from the publisher, through the www.highbottomdrunk.com website, and receive two
free gifts with each copy. Order one copy and receive two gifts. Order three copies,
receive six gifts. The gifts are modest but useful. I think you'll like them.
Take a moment & check it out:
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
In The Three Pillars of Zen Philip Kapleau recounts the following story about the
Zen master Ikkyu:
One day a man of the people said to Zen Master Ikkyu, "Master, will you please write
for me some maxims of the highest wisdom?"
Ikkyu immediately took his brush and wrote the word "Attention."
"Is that all?" asked the man. "Will you not add something more?"
Ikkyu then wrote twice running: "Attention. Attention."
"Well, remarked the man rather irritably, "I really don't see much depth or
subtlety in what you have just written."
Then Ikkyu wrote the same word three times running: "Attention. Attention.
Attention."
Half-angered, the man demanded: "What does that word 'Attention' mean anyway?"
And Ikkyu answered gently: "Attention means attention."
Paying attention may seem like a very simple thing, but when we look at how our minds
actually work, it becomes apparent that, in fact, we pay attention much less than we might
think. "For the ordinary man, whose mind is a checkerboard of crisscrossing
reflections, opinions, and prejudices," says Kapleau, "bare attention is
virtually impossible; his life is thus centered
not on reality itself but in his ideas about it."
Paraphrased from: Chop Wood Carry Water, by Rick Fields, with Peggy Taylor, Rex
Weyler, and Rick Ingrasci.
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: Addiction Search.
Not a site for everyone, but a tremendously valuable resource for those with
"academic" leanings. Addiction Search provides a gateway to research-based
addiction information. It's geared towards health consumers and professionals, educators,
students, and researchers. Lots of info here.
Visit the site at:
http://www.addictionsearch.com/addictionsearch/
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
Betty walks out of a 7-11 store, morning coffee in hand, when she notices a most unusual
funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. She sees one long black hearse,
followed by a second long black hearse, followed in turn by a solitary woman walking a pit
bull dog on a leash and then 200 women walking single file behind her.
Betty's curiosity gets the best of her, and she respectfully approaches the woman walking
the dog. "I'm so sorry for your loss," she says, "and I know now is a bad
time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral like this. Whose funeral is it?"
The woman with the dog replies, "Well, that first hearse is for my husband, the
no-good alcoholic bastard."
"What happened to him?" Betty asks.
The woman replies, "My dog attacked and killed him."
Betty inquires further, "Well, who's in the second hearse?"
The woman answers, "My mother-in-law, the old codependent hag. She was trying to
protect my husband-as usual-and the dog turned on her."
Following a poignant and thoughtful moment of silence, Betty inquires, "Listen, how
about letting me borrow that dog?"
The woman turns her head, looks Betty in the eye, smiles slightly, and says, "Get in
line, Lady."
Submitted by our old friend, Jan.
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Alrighty, then...till next week, do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources Web
site:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com