|
=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' COMMENTS
=====TIGHT BRIEFS
=====ADDICTION & RECOVERY
=====SPONSOR'S CORNER
=====FRIENDLY LINKS
=====PURE BOLOGNA
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE
=====WITHDRAWAL
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
"Principles" looks at recovery through the lens of an "eastern" perspective, which fits nicely with 12-step programs' spiritual
underpinnings. God willing, it hits cyberspace once a week - sometime between Thursday afternoon and Friday morning.
PRIVACY: I will never publish, give, loan, or sell your email address to anyone. Never - Ever - No way - No how.
A NICER VIEW: To view this issue of "Principles" in HTML, slip over to:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com/newsletters/news223.html
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====TIGHT BRIEFS=====
Rules of Integrity:
1. Communicate effectively, without assigning blame.
2. Tell the whole truth.
3. Make commitments selectively, and keep the ones you make.
4. Take responsibility for everything you do, and ask others to do the same.
--Gay Hendricks
=====READERS' THOUGHTS=====
From Marie:
I like the idea of spiritual progress, not perfection. The more I read, study, and follow my inner guidance, the stronger I become.
But like everything, it is a process. Sometimes I'm one step forward and two back, but I'm learning that it's okay. No one is
perfect, and thank God for that. Letting go and acceptance are the keys for me.
Please email your comments & questions to:
Mailto:Principles-Newsletter-owner@egroups.com
=====ADDICTION & RECOVERY=====
A friend of mine recently told me that she was beginning to think she will never feel happy - that it's not her destiny - that in
fact it's her fate to suffer.
I understand how she feels. Although I haven't felt such hopelessness in sobriety, it was a frequent companion during the
active stage of my addictions.
I asked my friend what it would take to turn things around. Somewhat to my surprise, she didn't hesitate; she knew exactly
what she needed to do to feel good again. When I suggested that she take the steps she had just listed, she shook her head and
said, "I don't know how. All I know how to do is suffer."
I asked her if she could imagine herself - mentally picture herself - happy, even for a brief moment, "You mean literally?"
she asked. I nodded. "That's stupid," she said. I shrugged.
To her credit, she agreed to try. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and struggled to grab a glimpse of herself feeling
good. And a moment later, the corners of her mouth turned up, and she sat up a little straighter in her chair. Then she opened her
eyes and smiled.
"You tricked me," she said. I shook my head. "No," I said, "I made a lucky guess."
Coincidentally(?), few days later, I opened an email that contained the following story:
=====
There was Grandfather. His little grandson often came in the evenings to sit at his knee and ask the many questions that
children ask. One day the grandson came to Grandfather with a look of anger on his face.
Grandfather said, "Come, sit, tell me what has happened today." The child sat and leaned his chin on Grandfather's knee. Looking
up into the wrinkled, nut brown face and the kind dark eyes, the child's anger turned to quiet tears.
The boy said, "I went to the town today, with Father, to trade the furs he has collected over the past several months. I was
happy to go, because father said that since I had helped him with the trapping, I could get something for me.....something that I
wanted.
I was so excited to be in the trading post. I have not been there before. I looked at many things and finally found a metal knife!
It was small, but good size for me, so father got it for me."
Here the boy laid his head against Grandfather's knee and became silent. Grandfather softly placed his hand on the boy's raven
hair and said, "And then what happened?"
Without lifting his head, the boy said, "I went outside to wait for Father, and to admire my new knife in the sunlight. Some town
boys came by and saw me. They got all around me and started saying bad things. They called me dirty and stupid and said that
I should not have such a fine knife. The largest of these boys pushed me back and I fell over one of the other boys. I dropped
my knife and one of them snatched it up and they all ran away laughing." Here, the boy's anger returned, "I hate them. I hate
them all!"
Grandfather, with eyes that have seen too much, lifted his grandson's face so his eyes looked into the boy's. Grandfather
said, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for
what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die.
I have struggled with these feelings many times. It is as if there are two wolves inside me, one is white and one is black.
"The White Wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was
intended. But it will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way.
"But the Black Wolf is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for
no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing.
Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which one wins, Grandfather?"
Grandfather smiled and said, "The one I feed."
=====
We all have within us the capacity to be happy and to suffer. It
all depends on which one our mind chooses to feed.
=====SPONSOR'S CORNER=====
"No one spared...no punches pulled...inspiring, potent 'self-help fiction.'"
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction &
Recovery, by Charles Roper.
Order here: http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
<a href="http://www.highbottomdrunk.com">AOL Link Here</a>
=====FRIENDLY LINKS=====
This week's featured link is: Mental Help Net!
This site is packed with mental health information and resources. Their stated goal is to provide visitors an easy-to-use, friendly
way to learn about mental health topics on the Internet. They meet that goal. This is a good site.
Visit the site:
http://www.mentalhelp.net
<a href="http://www.mentalhelp.net">AOL Link</a>
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
Sven and Osmond are good friends. Each day, they get together after work and have a couple of shots in the local bar. This is a
long-standing tradition.
One day, Osmond says to Sven, "Sven, if I die before you, promise me that you will have a shot for me, each day." Sven considers
this and agrees.
Osmond dies, and sure enough, Sven has an extra shot for him every day after work. This goes on for some time, and the
waitress is quite familiar with the ritual and the reason.
One day, Sven comes in and orders only one shot. The waitress, quite surprised that Sven would break tradition, says "But, Sven,
aren't you going to have another drink for your friend, as usual?"
Sven says, "Well, you see, I joined Alcoholics Anonymous and quit drinking, but I don't think that Osmond should be punished for
that."
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE=====
To SUBSCRIBE to this publication, send any e-mail to:
Mailto:Principles-Newsletter-subscribe@egroups.com
To UNSUBSCRIBE from this publication, send any e-mail to:
Mailto:Principles-Newsletter-unsubscribe@egroups.com
=====WITHDRAWAL=====
Keep it simple, at least till next week.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: The Addiction & Recovery Newsletter
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information &
Resources Website:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
|
