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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====READERS' COMMENTS
=====TIGHT BRIEFS
=====ADDICTION & RECOVERY
=====SPONSOR'S CORNER
=====FRIENDLY LINKS
=====PURE BOLOGNA
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE
=====WITHDRAWAL
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
PLEASE NOTE: Principles looks at recovery through the lens of an "Eastern"
perspective, which fits nicely with 12-step programs' spiritual underpinnings--that is, if you're
willing to read it that way.
PRIVACY: I will never publish, give, loan, or sell your email address to anyone. Never - Ever - No way - No how.
DISTRIBUTION: God willing, Principles hits cyberspace once a week - sometime between Thursday evening and Friday
morning. Find Subscribe & Unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of this page.
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====READERS' RAMBLINGS=====
Consolidated this week into Addiction & Recovery article, below.
Please email your comments & questions to:
Mailto:Principles-Newsletter-owner@egroups.com
=====TIGHT BRIEFS=====
Two-thirds of the population consumes alcohol, but 10% of drinkers drink half of all the alcohol consumed.
=====ADDICTION & RECOVERY=====
Where do we - whether in recovery ourselves or not - turn for help when alcoholics and addicts lay their recovery
programs aside and return to old destructive and hurtful behaviors and attitudes? How do we deal with drunks - both
wet ones and dry ones - especially when they are the very people we love the most?
This exchange between a reader and myself took place recently. I include it here (in edited & condensed form)
because the writer, an articulate, intelligent man, expresses the attitude of so many people trying to make
sense out of the incomprehensible. I'm referring, of course, to the craziness of living with an alcoholic who has hopped
off of the water wagon.
From Anonymous:
"....I am married to a recovering alcoholic. She has been in and out of AA and is currently using alcohol, although she
hasn't had a 'binge' in months. There are aspects of her behavior which concern me, and I feel as though I've had to
become more like a father to her than a husband. My question is this: Is it typical for addicted people to act
irrationally even when they are not bingeing or engaging in other outwardly destructive activities? How should I deal
with her? I would appreciate any insight, suggestions, reading material, links, etc. that you might be able to
offer."
Editor replies: ...."You asked, 'Is it typical for addicted people to act irrationally even when they are not bingeing
or engaging in other outwardly destructive activities?' The answer to this question is, of course, 'Yes.' In fact, I
have worked with some alcoholics, including binge drinkers, who act more irrationally when they are successfully
controlling their drinking than when they are bingeing. Why? My guess is that it has something to do with the stress and
anxiety associated with NOT bingeing - that is, with drinking less than is their proclivity....Are you going to
Al-Anon meetings? There sure are a lot of answers within the walls of those meeting rooms."
Anonymous: "....I have not been attending al-anon meetings because they are time-consuming and I have so little time
with my work and the extra domestic load left to me by my wife's relative incapacity. I have been trying to get more
targeted assistance by seeing psychologists and by searching the Internet for answers such as the one you just provided.
I understand that if I attend al-anon meetings, I might meet up with someone who has just gone through what I'm
experiencing. But my perception is that there is such a large element of chance involved and there are so many well-meaning but confused group members, I might end up wasting a
lot of time. I am looking for solid help from people with experience so I can get my family back on track as quickly
as possible."
Editor: "....True, there are confused people - like yourself - in Al-Anon. There are also others who were
confused when they arrived but have worked through many of the exact same issues you face today. They are the ones with
the type of experience you're looking for. Keep in mind that there are also a lot of confused 'experts' out there
charging lots of money for very questionable advice. Just an opinion...take it for what it's worth. Good luck."
I didn't hear back from Anonymous. My heart went out to him, though. When in pain, we want answers, and we want them now.
Too often, though, we hook - and lock - ourselves into our perception of "the problem." And I just don't think it
works. I think the answer is always the same: The best help I can give another is to work on myself - that is, my own
spiritual growth and change.
=====SPONSOR'S CORNER=====
If you haven't read High Bottom Drunk yet, please visit my website,
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com, and take a look.
If you make your purchase there, I'll send you two free gifts (modest but useful) with each copy. If you want, I'll
inscribe your copy as per your instructions - within reason, of course. You can request specific inscription wording in
the text box at the bottom of one of shopping cart pages.
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
<a href="http://www.highbottomdrunk.com">AOL Link Here</a>
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction &
Recovery,
by Charles N. Roper
=====FRIENDLY LINKS=====
This week's featured link is: Teen New Horizons
Teen New Horizons provides comprehensive information about and options available to families struggling with teen
substance abuse and mental illness issues. The site is maintained by a group of families who have worked through
many of the family problems associated with teens in trouble.
Visit the site:
http://www.teennewhorizons.com
<a href="http://www.teennewhorizons.com">AOL Link</a>
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
A guy goes into a bar. He's sitting on the stool, enjoying his drink when he hears, "You look great!" He looks around,
but there's nobody near him, so he just keeps drinking his beer.
A few minutes later, he hears the voice again. "Sharp tie, fella!" it says. The guy looks around again, and again
there's nobody around.
After another couple of minutes, he hears, "Is that a new shirt or something? You are absolutely glowing!" He realizes
that the voice is coming from a dish of nuts on the bar. "Hey!" the guy calls to the bartender, "What's with the
nuts?"
"Oh," the bartender says, "they're complimentary."
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE=====
To SUBSCRIBE to this publication, send any e-mail to:
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=====WITHDRAWAL=====
Let's do each other a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: The Addiction & Recovery Newsletter
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information &
Resources Website:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
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