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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====INTERESTING IDEAS & ISSUES
=====READERS' COMMENTS
=====FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSORS
=====EASTERN PERSPECTIVES
=====FEATURED LINK
=====PURE BOLOGNA
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
PRIVACY: I will never publish, give, loan, or sell your email address to anyone. Never - No way - No how.
DISTRIBUTION: God willing, Principles hits cyberspace once a week--sometime between Thursday evening and Friday morning.
Find Subscribe & Unsubscribe instructions at the bottom of this page.
CONTRIBUTE: I'd love to hear your comments, questions, & ideas. I don't answer every email, but I do read every one, and I answer
many. Email me at:
Mailto:Newsletter-Principles-owner@egroups.com
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====INTERESTING IDEAS & ISSUES=====
Instructions for Life in the New Millennium (which began 01/01/2001) from the Dalai Lama:
1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three R's: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10.Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11.Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12.A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13.In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14.Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15.Be gentle with the earth.
16.Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17.Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18.Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19.Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.
=====READER'S COMMENTS=====
If you boil "belief in God" down, you can come up with two very general ideas of thought: Theistic and A-theistic.
Theistic - God is "out there." This can take a lot of forms: Belief that God created us and then sits back and watches what
happens. Belief that God created us and then punishes us or rewards us based upon our behavior, etc. Belief that God created
us and then offers us the next step to take in any given situation. Regardless of the form it takes, the general idea is
that we are one thing, and God is another. Theists believe the world to be distinct from (he/she) who created it.
If you do *not* see the world as distinct from (he/she) who created it, then by definition, you are an a-theist. This is true
because whereas theism would say that there is a definite end to me and a beginning to God, atheism would not distinguish such a
difference.
Many of us do not think of God as an entity separate from the rest of the universe. We see ourselves as being a part of God
like a wave is a part of the ocean. Because theism refers to a God who exists externally from the universe, atheism is a better
description of our beliefs even though we definitely believe in God. The God of my understanding isn't "out there" or "other
than." He is in everything I see and is completely inseparable from anything I can perceive. And because I see God that way, by
defintion, my understanding is not theistic. It is atheistic.
--LB
Please email your ideas & issues to: Mailto:Principles-Newsletter-owner@egroups.com
=====FEATURED ARTICLE=====
RECOVERY THOUGHT:
Codependency does, in fact, mean something.
RECOVERY TALK:
The term "codependency" seems to be out of vogue these days. Even so, people often ask me what it is and what to do about it.
Here's a few thoughts on the subject.
How does one recognize his/her own codependency? Take a look at the following questions:
1. Do you feel responsible for other peoples problems?
2. Do you feel responsible to help people solve their problems?
3. Do you feel guilty or angry when your help isn't effective?
4. Do you find yourself saying "yes" when you want to say "no?"
5. Do you find yourself doing things with and/or for people when you really don't want to?
6. Do you catch yourself apologizing for things that weren't really your fault?
7. Do you try to please other people instead of pleasing yourself?
8. Do you feel bored or worthless when you don't have a crisis in your life or a problem to solve or someone to help?
These are just a few characteristics of codependency. There are many more, but you get the picture.
But the question remains, "What can I do about my codependency?" Well, keeping it simple, I recommend developing and internalizing
a new set of responses. Practice saying the following words and phrases with genuine conviction:
"No...nope...nah...no way...hell no."
"I'm busy right now."
"I don't have time today."
"I've got a lot on my plate already."
"That's the best I can do right now."
"Jeez, that's too bad."
"Man, that must be painful for you."
"The hell you say."
"Gotta run; good-bye."
"I know you're in a crisis, but it's past my bedtime."
"I don't know nothin 'bout nothin."
And my personal favorites: "Oh, well..." and "So what?"
You think I'm kidding? Perhaps I'm growing cold and uncaring. Oh, well...so what?
=====CHECK IT OUT=====
"This book has given a contemporary connection to alcoholism and drug addiction that I have found frustratingly lacking in the Big
Book of AA." --C.
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction &
Recovery, by Charles N. Roper, PhD.
Order High Bottom Drunk directly from the publisher, through
the www.highbottomdrunk.com website, and receive two free gifts
(modest but useful) with each copy.
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
=====AN EASTERN PERSPECTIVE ON RECOVERY=====
Mindfulness is very much like the Holy Spirit. Both are agents of healing. When you have mindfulness, you have love and
understanding, you see more deeply, and you can heal the wounds in your own mind. The Buddha was called the King of Healers. In
the Bible, when someone touches Christ, he or she is healed. It is not just touching a cloth that brings about a miracle. When
you touch deep understanding and love, you are healed.
From: Living Buddha, Living Christ, by Thich Nhat Hanh.
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=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is: About.com's Alcoholism site.
All of the About.com sites are absolutely packed with relevant information and links to resources, and the Alcoholism site is
one of the best. You may become irritated with their sometimes intrusive pop-up advertising, but it's worth the effort.
Visit the site at:
http://alcoholism.about.com/health/alcoholism/
=====PURE BOLOGNA & HOGWASH=====
An alcoholic man died, and his wife phoned the newspaper to place an obituary. She called the obituary department and said, "This
is what I want to print: 'Bernie is dead.'"
The man at the newspaper said, "But. Madam, for $25, which is the minimum, you are allowed to print six words."
The woman thought for a moment and then replied, "OK, then, print this: 'Bernie is dead. Toyota for sale.'"
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==========================
Till next week, do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information &
Resources Web site:
www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
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