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=====TABLE OF CONTENTS=====
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...
=====TIP & TALK FEATURE ARTICLE
=====SPONSOR'S SPOT
=====WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?
=====FEATURED LINK
=====PURE BOLOGNA
=====SUBSCRIBE / UNSUBSCRIBE / COMMENT
=====EDITOR'S COMMENTS=====
PUBLICATION: Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks is published
every Friday morning by the folk(s) at Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction &
Recovery Information & Resources Treasure Chest. Visit the Website:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
DISTRIBUTION: Principles is distributed only to subscribers. If you have received
this newsletter by mistake, please accept our apologies. SUBSCRIBE, UNSUBSCRIBE, and
COMMENT instructions are located at the bottom of this page.
PRIVACY: I will NEVER publish, give, loan, or sell your e-mail address to anyone. Never -
No way - No how.
Thanks...Charles Roper
=====THINGS YOU ALREADY KNEW, BUT...=====
"It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the
grain of sand in your shoe." --Author Unknown
=====TIP & TALK FEATURED ARTICLE=====
Contributed by: Dee, a Principles subscriber.
RECOVERY TIP: We are responsible for our own recovery.
RECOVERY TIP TALK: I don't have first hand experience with recovery from alcoholism, but I
do know something about recovery from a (self-proclaimed) alcoholic.
Probably the most difficult part of my ongoing recovery has been the realization that I have chosen to allow this disease to eat away large
portions of my personal dignity and self-respect.
For years I have blamed myself for everything that is wrong in our relationship-from being the cause of his
drinking to being the reason he didn't desire sexual intimacy. It seems I can't say anything right. If I try
to discuss our non-existent sex life, I'm "making matters worse." If I want him
to talk to me, I'm "putting the pressure on." As he rejects me more and more
often, I feel myself shrinking smaller and closing tighter.
He tells me that I'm never satisfied with what we have - that I always want more from him. And it's true; I do
want more. I want a grown-up. I want a grown-up relationship.
I want a partner and a lover, not a roommate. I want to talk about our demons and our dreams. We both have fears, resentments, and pain to
overcome, but we can't do it in silence.
I want romantic and sexual intimacy. I want to feel desired. I long for him to touch
me--to feel his hands on my body and his lips on the back of my neck. I want him to lock
his eyes on mine. I don't want to wait another 10 years to experience the heat of
intimacy.
All forms of intimacy require open, honest communication. Relationships need to be
worked--just like our programs. "It works if you work it," but it doesn't if you
don't.
I've been told that I need to be patient, that recovery takes time. I want to gag whenever
I hear that. Patience overflows in Al-Anon, but perhaps it is our capacity for patience
that allows loneliness to remain the status quo.
I get angry with myself at times. I ask myself, "What was I thinking-wanting a man
who doesn't want me? Am I that desperate for love?" But the truth is, I'm not afraid
of being alone. I have a job that I love and good support from family and friends. And I'm
afraid that all the time and patience in the world won't fix this broken relationship.
So here's the bottom line: I won't allow myself to be put on the back shelf any longer. I
won't put myself on the back shelf any longer. I am responsible for my own recovery.
=====SPONSOR'S SPOT=====
High Bottom Drunk: A Novel...and the Truth about Addiction & Recovery, by
Charles N. Roper, PhD.
Remarkable! Absolutely remarkable!
--B.D., Chapel Hill, NC
Read excerpts of High Bottom Drunk: A Novel... at the Website:
http://www.highbottomdrunk.com
=====WHAT WOULD BUDDHA DO?=====
Q: What would Buddha do to hold his tongue?
A: "Surely a person is born with an axe in his mouth, and he cuts himself with it
when he speaks foolish words."
--Sutta Nipata 657
We've all heard the expression, "He/she has a sharp tongue" or the comment that
something "cuts both ways." But have you ever put these two expressions
together? That is what Buddha does with this striking metaphor. He calls the tongue a
sharp weapon that cuts both ways. It cuts the speaker at least as deeply as it does the
victim.
Buddha fully realized the unity of self and other. Therefore, he never spoke ill of
anyone, even of those who slandered him, He also realized the emptiness of idle talk and
wasted no time and energy with meaningless chit-chat.
When we truly understand that we injure ourselves by speaking foolish or hurtful words, we
can summon the wisdom to keep our mouths shut. We may not always be in touch with our
Buddha Nature, but we can always feel the axe in our mouths. Remembering that, we can
sometimes remain silent.
Paraphrased from: What Would Buddha Do? 101 Answers to Life's Daily Dilemmas, by
Franz Metcalf.
=====LINK OF THE WEEK=====
This week's featured link is "Recovery Newsletters."
This site provides a list of free newsletters and e-zines covering various aspects of
recovery from several different addiction-related conditions. Includes sample copies,
sign-up information, and relevant direct links.
Visit the site at:
http://www.wracfi.com/fobw/newsletters
=====PURE BOLOGNA=====
In the spirit of pure codependency:
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had
stayed at his bedside every single day. Then one day when he came to, he motioned for her
to come nearer.
As she sat by him with her eyes full of tears, he whispered, "My dearest, you have
been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there to believe in me. When I got shot, you were by my
side to hold my hand. When we lost the house, you stayed with me to ease my guilt. When my
health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
He looked into her eyes and said, "I think you're bad luck."
Submitted by: A resentful codependent with a sense of humor.
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=====ADIOS=====
Till next week...do us all a favor and keep it simple.
Charles Roper, Editor
Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks
Alcohol & Drug Abuse - The Addiction & Recovery Information & Resources
Website:
http://www.alcoholanddrugabuse.com
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