Principles: Addiction & Recovery Tips & Talks is published every Friday morning by the folks at Alcohol & Drug Abuse (.com). Visit the Website:
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My oldest daughter got pregnant at 16. She asked me what I thought she should do. I didn’t know what to tell her so I said that I would think about it and get back to her as soon as I felt as though I had the right answer.

For the next few days, I prayed hard. "Please God," I said, "just tell me what to say. I promise; whatever your will is—that’s what I’ll tell her."

The answer came on the morning of the fourth day. It was so loud and clear that it almost scared me. The answer was, "Take the best spiritual care of yourself that you possibly can."

"What?" I asked.

And I heard it again. "Take the best spiritual care of yourself that you possibly can."

At first I dismissed the thought, writing it off as a figment of my imagination. Then I thought that maybe it was God’s response but that God was screwing with my head. Finally, I got quiet and let the idea sink in, and before long, I understood. If I were truly in a good spiritual place with myself, I would be emotionally and spiritually available to my daughter. The outcome of the pregnancy wasn’t the issue. It was about acceptance, support, and love.

I went to her and said, "Honey, tell me how you want to handle this issue. Whatever your decision, I will be here to support you. I love you, and I believe that you are capable of making the right decision based on what’s in your heart of hearts."

She burst into tears and said that she wanted to terminate the pregnancy and that she had not told me that before because she knew I didn’t believe in abortion. I held her in my arms and assured her that I felt at peace with her decision. And it was the truth. Despite my own beliefs, I felt respectful of her needs.

Two days later I drove my daughter to the clinic, waited while the procedure was done, and then drove her home.

We talked to each other a lot over the next few weeks. We helped each other grieve. And we bonded in a most profound way. It is a bond that remains intact today—over 15 years later.

I learned something from that experience that I remind myself of often:

When searching for a solution to the problem, remember:
The solution is simple.
The solution is spiritual.
The solution has nothing to do with the problem.

Contributed by: Charlotte L., Dallas, TX

This week’s featured link is: Hope and Healing Web Chronicles - a healing journal focusing on the spiritual journeys and transformations possible for the individual and family affected by alcoholism, addictions and codependency.

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